Destruction in a Perfect World

Is it easier to take, when it’s me at stake

World tumbling, I’m the one left suffering

A risk-taker alone, chaos my one success

It all seems self inflicted-something must be twisted

When will I know how to let it all go?

The all consuming focus on nothing.

The healing scab peeling back like, 

The sticker that leaves no tacky trace like,

The nail polish that flakes right off like,

The silence that follows silence.

lack of conflict or lack of contact?

Saying more in silence than compliance

Comfort in the pain that never fails to stain

Craving nostalgia requires melting away 

Running the opposite way just to feel a sway

Self protection or just a scared reflection?

The satisfying sound of nothing.

The morning after the last day of school like,

The first sip of an icee before it’s sweating like,

The relief after the knuckles crack like,

The need to fall back, lose track. 

Dialing up the white noise, quiets the same inside 

How does the sound of something silence nothing?

Yet an empty buzz shatters a cohesive anything?

Living in the before avoiding any of the after

Dancing with the prince and never pricking my finger,

Is it worth it to be a pumpkin, never moving over 10 miles an hour

Only to avoid it when the clock strikes a little longer?

The contorting comfort of nothing.

The last tick on the to do list like,

The last blink before a nap like,

The water finally getting hot like,

The rewinding mind to keep intact.

Resisting conflict, missing contact.

The cycle has to end – 

my my, here comes step number 5;

Running the extra mile, towards denial.

Not learning, infinitely stuck churning.